Let me tell you about a frame, a little, blue, giraffe encrusted number sat in the deepest corner of my living room. A frame showing the first ever picture of my first ever son. A frame that reminds me of all the things I was going to be as a Mother. We were going to go to the park every day, we would eat our 5 a day, birds would flutter through the window and help me do the washing up. Sadly, sat here at 12.42pm, pyjama clad, watching that first born demolish a plate of sausage and chips, the reality of Motherhood does not, at all, meet with naive promises of late.
That innocent, womb-fresh babies face has morphed into a nearly 3 year olds sliding mask of pure expression. He's happy, he's sad, he's angry, oh so very, very angry. He wants to play, he wants to watch Cars, on repeat, all day, he wants to eat, but he does NOT want to eat vegetables, thank you Mummy. He is, for lack of a better word, challenging. But on those hard days, those days where the room is too small and his voice just too loud, on those days where I would happily trade him in for a pet camel, I glance in the corner and see that little blue frame. I remember those promises. I remember his innocence wrapped in a purple blanket, I remember all the things I was going to be, and I remember the things I am now.
Forever and on he shall be my son. I will remember his tiny fingers, counting his tiny toes, watching in awe as he opened his eyes to the world. I shall teach him how to be strong in himself, to take what the world throws and toss it right back, to be strong, to be confident, to take the bins out, unprompted, on the right day. Mostly, I will love him.
And those, my son, are my promises to you.
Linking up with sixinthesticks for #concretewords.
'Innocence wrapped in a purple blanket' - beautiful :-) Such a gorgeous post, it's so funny how the reality of motherhood never matches up what we'd imagined. And I happen to think sausage and chips sound wonderful
ReplyDelete'All the things I was going to be, and all that I am now...' Oh, I know what you mean. It's a bittersweet thing, motherhood. Being a mum is wonderful, fulfilling, joyful and precious to me, but also it's frustrating, devastating, exhausting and relentless. So hard, but nothing in the world more important.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this.
PS my six year old daughter will eat very little other than sausage and chips. I pretty much go with the flow. Sigh. :-)
So refreshing. I love the honest acceptance of reality juxtaposed with your fresh idealism when holding your new bundle. Yes, I have gotten to the point where camels seem a good trade off. I would have 5 right now if I had been given my way, but thankfully God knows what we can handle and doesn't take trade-ins. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeletecoming to visit from the concrete words link up. So great to have your take on the frame. Good to have that reminder of all those promises you made, especially in the days when its hard to remember what was at the beginning. i like your reflection here, about what was in your mind and the reality of today and what you will fight for for him. thank you for this. well done.
ReplyDeleteThis, Meg, is beautiful writing: "Forever and on he shall be my son. I will remember his tiny fingers, counting his tiny toes, watching in awe as he opened his eyes to the world. I shall teach him how to be strong in himself, to take what the world throws and toss it right back" --I loved these lines. What a beautiful picture you have shown us, a glimpse into your reality--thank you. (((hugs)))
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